Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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