HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Still dying that you shit outside
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
