tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
