I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
