all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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