I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They took my balls.
You pole danced in your parka.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
