ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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