i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's the barista slut.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
