He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have aggressive nipples.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
