we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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