those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Randomize
