i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
