kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
