good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
