Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
