I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
