I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just cut my nipple shaving
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
