I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
