She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
