I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
