i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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