Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
