I wannas sexs uuuuu
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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