I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
