and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
