Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
