Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
