There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
