Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
