Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
