You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
