Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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