OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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