We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
