Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
