if i can run in heels then i can drive
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Randomize
