u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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