either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
