just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
