i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
