Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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