No stitches, just platelets and will power
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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