I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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