Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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