Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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