If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
