Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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