whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My vagina is officially offended.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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