I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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