She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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